The Worst Start In Life
by Sunrise over the Tango Factory
Summary: Everyone has to start somewhere and Dave Lister’s start was a cardboard box under a pool table in a pub. Not the most glamorous entry into the world ever…but things can only get better…can’t they?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Okay, allow me a moment to do my explanation of why I wrote this. There's lots of stories out there about Young Rimmer's past, I know because I've wrote a couple myself…but very few, if any, of Lister's past…which is equally as eventful as Rimmer's. We know that Lister was abandoned, adopted, his dad died when he was 6, and that he was looked after by his Nan for some years. The rest of the details are somewhat foggy, for instance what happened to his mother. His past is also littered with plot inconsistencies so I've used what I could, and the rest I left up to my twisted imagination.

Reviews welcomed, as is constructive criticism.

Sorry if it sucks, I'm just trying to cure my writers block!

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The door was kicked open and a harassed looking woman stormed in, dragging a struggling four year old behind her.

Marching down the hallway, she exhaled angrily, pushing her blonde fringe out of her eyes. Several children raced down the stairs, laughing and screaming as excited children do. They dived around the woman before running out into the garden, pushing each other about in the process.

The woman didn't even react to the noise or the chaos. It was all perfectly normal.

She made her way into the large kitchen, still tugging along the young child.

"Right" she said, picking him up and placing him directly on a small stool in the corner "you are going to sit here and think about what you've done."

Four-year-old David merely glared at her and crossed his arms.

"What's he done this time, Sandra?" asked a grey haired woman who peeling potatoes across the room

"Ran away again" sighed Sandra before frowning at David, "Third time this week!" she shook her head in dismay "It was George who spotted him, sat at the bus stop in the middle of town…"

"Where were you going, Davey?" asked the grey haired lady, looking towards him.

"Nowhere" he muttered, lowering his head.

"Well you must have been going somewhere," she laughed.

David didn't like adults laughing at him…in fact, he didn't like adults full stop. They were always telling him what to do, bossing him about, and telling him off.

"Where were you off to?" she persisted,

"None of your business" he sulked, turning away to face the wall.

Sandra threw her hands up in the air, frustration evident on her features "I can't keep this up, there's 18 more kids to look after….but I have to spend half my time chasing after him on his merry excursions across town and god-knows where else!"

David shifted a bit in his seat, but still remained quiet.

"And we've got that family coming…the house is a tip…3 of the kids have the chicken pox, Michael's on holiday and he's the only one who can control the rabble!" she paused and heaved a sigh before walking over to a cupboard and taking out a large whiskey bottle (half empty) and a glass.

She was just about to raise it to her lips when he remembered David was there. "David, go to your room and don't come down till I tell you"

David gripped the edge of the stool and frowned. If she wanted him to go, she'd have to make him.

"David!" said Sandra, putting on her 'do as you are told' voice, "do what I've asked you to do!"

"No!" said David, simply,

Sandra rolled her eyes and hastily counted to ten before leaving her chair, grabbing David by shoulder and steering him from the room.

"When are you going to behave?" she asked angrily

"Dunno…but I'll call you when it happens" replied David, cheekily.

She just about managed to drag David into the dorm room and begin her lecture on 'why he mustn't run away ever again' before she was interrupted,

"Sandra, where's the first aid kit?" a youngish looking girl with black hair leant in through the door "Jason's cut his knee and we can't find the damned thing anywhere"

"It should be in the downstairs cupboard, the one next to the stairs!" she snapped, trying to stop David from running away again

"We've tried there,"

Sandra swore under her breath, deposited David onto a nearby bed, "Watch him for me," she said to the black haired girl, as she swept from the room in search of the missing first aid kit.

The black haired girl sighed and leant against the door frame, watching David warily as he wandered across the room to the toy box in the corner. He rummaged around it a bit, tossing things aside before walking back over to her, holding out a medium sized green box with a white cross on it "is this what you need" he asked, handing it to her.

Her mouth dropped "What? How…how did you get this….why's it in here!"

David shrugged "We were playin' doctors and nurses…you can't play doctors and nurses without a plasters and stuff!"

Reluctantly, she smiled. By rights she should have told him off, but she couldn't resist a child's natural wit and charm. She glanced down the corridor "I need to go and see to Jason, can you promise me that you'll stay here?"

David nodded "I promise"

The girl smiled and ran off to tend to Jason's knee. David grinned and uncrossed his fingers and darted off in search of a better hiding place.

Sandra wasn't best pleased when she returned to find both David and the black haired girl gone. It seemed like nobody did as they were told anymore. She turned and went back to the landing only to find the black haired girl running up the stairs holding the first aid kit. "So…you found it then?"

"Yeah, David got it out of the toy box so I went to Jason." said the girl as she ran a hand through her hair and smiled,

"And where _is_ David?" Sandra asked as she folded her arms, glaring at her.

"What?" The girl said as she looked into the room where she'd left David a few minutes ago, there was a moment of awkward silence before "...that little git!" she turned to Sandra, "He…he promised he'd stay here, he said he would!"

Sandra raised an eyebrow at the girl's naivety "A promise from David is about a reliable as a train timetable!" she gave the girl one last withering glare before marching off in search of the run away, but she froze as she heard the doorbell.

It meant one thing…they were early…and Sandra wasn't in the least bit ready.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Yello again. See ZK, I'm updating! Its not always an idle threat! Anywhooo – thanks for all the feedback. Many thanks to: smegginlarge, boogle, Mad Axe Man, Radar-rox, Zombie Kitty, CyborgGarfield!

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Sandra stumbled down the last couple of steps, landing ungracefully in front of the prospective adopters, "Hello" she said, somewhat breathless "I'm Sandra" she shook both of their hands, whilst trying not to look too dishevelled. The couple gave her a wary smile as she ushered them into the kitchen "You just sit here, have a cup of coffee, and I'll 'round up the rabble'" Sandra laughed falsely, before rushing off again, cursing under her breath.

She stormed up the stairs, ordering whatever child she saw to go the living room, on her way she bumped into the black haired girl again "Find David now!" she snapped. The girl nodded and scurried away, eager not to be subject to the sharp side of Sandra's tongue any longer.

Meanwhile, amongst the chaos, David was hanging around on the third landing; he made sure no-one was coming before creeping forward. If he could make it to the garden he'd be okay.

A floorboard creaked…and he froze. He stayed still long enough to see Sandra charging about, no doubt in search for him. David gasped, and flung open the nearest door and hurried inside. He quickly clambered into the wardrobe, closing the door behind him.

Kimberly looked up just in time to see David disappear into the wardrobe, she got up off her bed to find out what was going on when Sandra came striding in "Kim" she said, her chest heaving "You haven't seen David have you? The little sods ran off again!"

"David?" said Kimberly, her eyes momentarily flicked to the wardrobe door, that wobbled slightly "Nah, haven't seen him"

Sandra groaned and made to stumble away "But I did here someone say they'd seen him go out the front door, just a few moments ago…" and with that the care worker raced off.

Kimberly waited till she was sure Sandra was out of the way "Okay" she said tapping on the wardrobe door "You can come out now." David climbed cautiously out of the wardrobe "Thanks" he said.

"Don't mention it" said Kimberly, smiling at him "So why were you hiding…shouldn't you be downstairs, gettin' ready to meet that couple?"

David frowned "Don't want to. I don't wanna get adopted…I'd rather stay here." He wandered over to the window and stared at the sky "Who need's parents…."

Kimberly sighed "Everyone. No matter how many times we all say it, the thing we want the most…is a mum and a dad." She sat down on her bed and looked over at the little boy "You should go down and see them y'know…go and say hi. This could be your chance…" she lay down and stared at the ceiling for a second or two, waiting for his reply

"They won't want me…" he said eventually "No-one wants me. I'm defective!"

Kimberly laughed "where've you got a big word like that from?"

"Sandra said I was…she said I'm defective, she calls me lots of things….and she drinks loads too!" explained David, turning away from the window

"Surely you want a mum and dad though?" cried Kim exasperated.

David shook his head "Nope. Me real parents where no good, who says fake ones will be any better!" he crossed his arms stubbornly "I'm alright on me own!"

It was obvious that Kimberly wouldn't be able to change David's mind anytime soon. She didn't like to admit it, not even to herself, but she was jealous of David, and all the other youngsters in the home. Adoptive parents and fosterers wanted toddlers, not teenagers. No-body would want 14 year old Kimberly, with her hang ups and criminal record. She was now facing up to the harsh reality that she may never have a new mum and dad, she'll probably stay here till she was 16 then move onto the 'half way house' and then…well, who knows.

"Kimberly…." said David, she glanced towards him expectantly "Can't…can't you adopt me?" she smiled but shook her head

"I'm too young kiddo…I'm not allowed. But believe me, I would if I could…" David nodded and looked down at the carpet, "Tell you what" she said, standing up "we'll go down, say hi and if we don't like the look of them…we'll leg it? How's that sound?"

David looked at her for a second or two "Alright…" He didn't really want to, but since Kimberly was one of the very few people he actually liked in this place, he made an exception.

It was just unfortunate that half way down the stairs they ran into Sandra, who grabbed David by the shoulders, demanded to know where he'd been before steering him down the stairs before he'd even had chance to reply. He was literally thrown in front of a couple.

"David, this is Mr and Mrs Lister"

He slowly looked up. The man was tall, very tall, but then again all adults seemed tall to David. He had kind eyes though and a friendly smile. The lady had curly dark hair, and gold earrings that sent light bouncing off the walls of the hallway. The pair smiled at David, who just stared back at them.

"Say hello, David" snapped Sandra, giving him a nudge

"Hello David" he said, before running off.

Sandra smiled apologetically, "That was David – our resident funny man. He's not usually that cheeky, especially not with strangers, he just gets a little…._excited_ sometimes…well, I suppose you'll want to take a look around, so I won't keep you. If you need any help, just call me." She smiled again, and wandered off in search of something strong to drink.

The couple turned and looked at each other "D'you think we're ready for this?" asked Mrs Lister

Mr Lister nodded, and tried to make to look as convincing as he could "Oh yeah….we can be parents."

He smiled, before taking his wife by the hand and leading her out into the garden. It was quite a nice day and for once the sun was shining, several children were running around, screaming and laughing. Others just sat back and watched – but all eyes were on the couple. Everyone knew what it meant when adults came wandering round the care home, it mean you had to be on your best behaviour, it meant you had to look as cute/nice/adoptable as humanly possible.

Kimberly and David sat at the end of the garden, watching the couple walk round talking to different children.

"They look nice" she commented,

David just glared at them "I don't like them…."

Kimberly rolled her eyes "You don't like any of the couples that come in here!" she looked back over the pair, seizing them up "They look okay – not too strict, not too boring, not too weird…just nice and normal" she paused "You should go over and say hi"

"No." he replied testily, tearing up a few blades of grass and twisting them round his fingers.

A sudden shadow was cast over the place where David was sat. He knew who it was without even having to look up.

"See you later, David" said Kimberly, rushing off, leaving him completely alone with Mr and Mrs Lister.

After a second or two he looked up…they were smiling down at him. What was it about adoptive parents that made them smile so much? He cocked his head slightly to one side as if to say 'well, what d'you want?'

"Mind if we sit down" asked the man, gesturing to the grass beside him

David shrugged "It's a free country…." He looked over to see Kimberly giving him the 'thumbs up', he smiled before turning his attention back to the couple, who still looked extremely nervous

"It's okay…" he reassured "I'm not half as bad as Sandra makes out…I'm actually quite nice" he paused, looking the couple up and down "So…tell me about yourselves"

Mr and Mrs Lister exchanged confused looks. Shouldn't they be the ones asking the questions? They turned back to the little boy, who was still smiling at them before deciding to just simply 'go with the flow' and see where it leads.


End file.
